22 Reasons Why I Think You Should Come to Our Next Men's Leadership Intensive
by Peter Rubin, Co-Founder of the Brotherhood Community
What I'm about to write is an experiment in being extremely bold, direct, and presumptive. Hell, how would I know what you're going through as a man? How could I know what's best for you or what you should do?
Truth is, I don't. But I've consistently seen our Intensive transform men's lives, and I’m taking a stand for the incredible work we're doing in the Brotherhood Community.
So instead of making you guess what you'd get out of a strange-sounding thing like a Men's Leadership Intensive, I'm going to make a strong case for why signing up for our next Intensive has the potential to transform every aspect of your life and be a fun, memorable, and profoundly meaningful experience for you.
Even if some of these points don't apply, and even if you end up deciding to not participate, I hope this list provokes deeper self-reflection about what's possible for you as a man and why men's work is worth engaging in.
Without further ado, 22 reasons why I think you should come to our next Men’s Leadership Intensive –
1. You’re a man who leads all over your life and you’re ready to be held in your process to gain new insight and potency – OR – You are emerging as a leader and you're ready to work through your insecurities and doubts and stand solidly in your leadership.
2. You're in a time of transition and expansion. You can feel it. You're itching to shed your old skin and be re-born. You know it's bigger than you can – or want to – handle on your own. And you're looking for the right support to guide you through it.
3. The world needs more good men to step up and lead. Patriarchal male leadership has gotten a bad rap – understandably – but the solution isn’t for men’s leadership gifts to be wasted. We need more men who lead from their hearts and in collaboration with people of all genders.
4. You're ready to fully claim your life. The foundation of everything you do is full responsibility for your own experience. No one leaves this weekend a victim. You will have your opportunity to face your demons and inner-critics directly, wrestle them to the ground, and emerge victorious. Literally. The exercise from the Intensive that I'm speaking to here has profoundly transformed every single man who has gone through it.
5. You're sick of doing it alone. As men, we are conditioned to isolate, armor, and do everything alone – we work alone, we navigate our intimate relationships alone, we handle with our emotional pain alone. It’s miserable. Your loner tendencies will not survive the full-on barrage of love you will face this weekend! Being held in brotherhood and being seen and approved of in your broken places is profoundly healing. It will leave an indelible imprint on your soul. Solitude will become a choice on the menu, not a prison you're stuck in.
6. You’re willing to step into a vision that scares you. You'll craft a clear, compelling dream for your life and for the world that's beyond anything you've conceived of – one that seems impossible from where you stand now and pulls you forward into becoming the man and leader you most want to be. We'll be working this vision into your cellular memory all weekend.
7. You long to trust more. We've all been hurt before. We've all broken promises, been betrayed, and lost trust in life. Sometimes we don't even know how tight we're gripping until it's reflected back to us. This weekend will help you un-sphincter and restore a free-flowing trust in yourself, in other men, and in life itself.
8. You'll be guided by an authentic world-class team that is fiercely committed to your growth. Robert, Joshua, and I each have deep experience in transformation and men's work, and together we are unstoppable. We bring our unique gifts and cover for each other's blind spots. In addition, the weekend is staffed by graduates of the program who are so devoted to service that they come as volunteers. This brings the participant-to-facilitator ratio to roughly 2:1. That's a LOT of personal attention from some seriously skilled human beings who won't stop until you get everything you need and more.
9. Be deeply nourished. Men have a hard time with this concept. Let it in! There are many levels on which you'll be nourished throughout the weekend, the most literal being the food we cook and eat together. We shop organic and make healthy and delicious meals. We say a (non-denominational) blessing before every meal, and we have structured meal-time conversations. It's what family dinner should have been. Also, Joshua makes a mean sweet potato-turmeric stew!
10. The property is stunning. The Men's Leadership Intensive takes place in the Santa Cruz mountains in a house with a gorgeous view of the ocean and a huge garden that is home to flowers, fruit trees, and a hundred hummingbirds! If you're accustomed to workshops held in sterile hotel event rooms, this is the exact opposite.
11. We have so much fun! I bet you haven't played this hard in a long time! We're cooperating and competing all weekend, getting physical, being silly, making music, playing on the beach, and letting loose like a bunch of elementary school boys. You might not realize how much you miss this until you have it again.
12. A fully-curated experience unlike any you've ever had. Most of what we do during the weekend I'm NOT sharing because it would ruin the surprise. Just trust me, there's so much more. There are dozens of other deep processes and delightful moment that I’m smiling to think about but wouldn’t dare mention.
13. Masculine culture, redefined. Graduates of the Men's Leadership Intensive have commented on what a beautiful culture emerges in the weekend. We bring the union of masculine and feminine values – potency and sensitivity. We embrace intimacy and physical affection. We cultivate a spirit of camaraderie, care, and mutual support along with fire and challenge. It's what fraternities could be, but never live up to.
14. Make friends for life. This weekend is a friendship accelerator. Because we're relentlessly putting our guts on the table, you'll get to know the men in the room more deeply than some guys you've known for years. Some of these friendships will stick, and we bet you'll make at least one life-long friend.
15. Explore diversity. Each Intensive attracts its own mix of men, and as we work with the diversity in the room, we find collective healing and understanding across lines of difference. In our last intensive, for instance, we stumbled on profound healing around sexual orientation as we discovered – as gay, straight, and bi-sexual men – how to release our fears and judgments and embrace each other fully.
16. Do your transformational work in a high-integrity community. We share our mission and values here on our website as well as our Code of Conduct, which we are accountable to. If what you read on our website lights you up, piques your curiosity, and makes you feel gotten, you're in the right place.
17. We offer a sliding scale. Our income-based honor-system sliding scale makes our work accessible to a wider range of men, while providing extraordinary value to all men, including those who pay at the highest end of the range.
18. You want to give yourself a precious gift. Coming to the Men's Leadership Intensive is a deeply kind thing to do for yourself. If you're responsible for others – as father, a caretaker, or an organizational leader – and struggle to make time for yourself, then all the more reason to put on your own oxygen mask.
19. Everyone around you will thank you. The paradox of personal growth is that it seems self-centered to focus on yourself for a whole weekend (or more) but when you bring yourself into full alignment, you can easily show up with a full and generous presence in all of your relationships. When you embody joy and well-being, it rubs off on your friends, family, and colleagues and inspires them to live to the fullest.
20. You know the time is NOW. You're not willing to indulge the procrastinator in you when you know you're ripe to do the work and step into your next level as a leader. (To further support your now-ness, we offer an early bird discount. If you’re super early to sign up, we’ll even give an extra $100 to a cause of your choice)
21. Your heart says "yes." Check this out for yourself. It's too easy to get tangled up in the complexity of our own minds rather than feeling and honoring our embodied truth. The courageous path is the path of the heart, with the mind as its trusty sidekick.
22. You're a man of action. Apply here. Woohoo!